TEBOWMANIACS

One of the strangest phenomenons over the past few years here in the good ol US of A, is the fascination of one Tim Tebow. A University of Florida standout and Heisman trophy winner in his college career, Tebow has been mediocre at best since joining the National Football League, yet if you ever watch ESPN, you'd think Tebow was Otto Graham, Johnny U, Joe Montana and Peyton Manning all rolled up into one super human mega-duper quarterback. Unfortunately, he's not even an average QB so far in his very young career, much less Hall of Fame material, yet the fascination continues. And not just in Florida (where he went to school), or Denver (where he played his rookie season) or the Big Apple (where he's currently employed).

The Tebow-pandemic has even gripped the small town of Kingsley, Iowa. High school senior, Rachel Bird, sent a Tweet inviting Tebow to her prom....as her date. As you can expect, with Tebow likely having a million or more followers on Twitter, there was no response to Rachel's tweet. Mildly disappointed, Rachel was facing going to the prom with no date, so she decided that she wasn't letting Tebow get out of this prom date.....sorta. She came up with an idea to take a life sized cardboard cutout of Tim Tebow to her high school prom as her date.

Rachel's father, Bob Bird, helped her make this life-sized cutout. And why not? He didn't have to worry about some punk kid being out with his daughter. Of course there's that being out in public with a cardboard cutout as your date thing, but what the hell? Dad even splashed a little cologne on Thin Tebow.

Friends, and I use that term loosely, encouraged her to do it. Of course they did. How hilarious is that going to be? I can't believe I can't find the YouTube videos of it. What, no camera phones there in Iowa? Really, these people are your friends? I think I'm starting to understand why she chose to go to the prom  with cardboard.

I figure one of two things is going on here. 1) What does it say about the guys at Kingsley-Pierson High School that an attractive high school senior would choose to go to the prom with a cardboard cut-out instead of them? Come on guys! I know it's Iowa and you're all probably into bailing hay and milking stuff, but you got beat out by cardboard!

That said, my 1976 Farrah Fawcett poster is still the best girlfriend I ever had.

2) The girl does look nice, so what gives?
Likely answer: Totally. Freaking. Psycho. Bitch.

As it turns out, dad did have something to worry about. Never thought he'd be a grandpa so soon.