THE SKY IS FALLING

As I mentioned in my very first blog entry here, "Your Proctologist Called, He Found Your Head", I briefly talked about a blog I used to do about 5 years ago that strictly had to do with tropical weather. In fact, I did that blog from July 18, 2005 to Sep. 20, 2006. That included most of the record smashing 28 storm year of 2005. Here's one blog entry from back then to give you a better understanding of how that blog went down;

20 September 2005 22:57 CDT
Posted by Rich C

Rita Texas bound

Hurricane Rita passes just to the south of the Florida Keys and has entered the Gulf of Mexico as a category 2 hurricane. It now looks like it's setting it's sights on the Texas coast. Long range models are still a little uncertain at this time, but most currently have Texas landfall anywhere from Brownsville to the Sabine river.

The official track has the central Texas coast near Matagorda Bay as the target. Rita is moving along the southern edge of high pressure currently centered over east Texas. The million dollar question is, what does this high do? This will determine where Rita goes. This high is expected to be pushed to the east because of an approaching front from the west. This would allow Rita to go around the western edge of the high, meaning it turns to the northwest. Where and when it makes this turn could be the difference in several hundred miles of coastline.


Now the bad news. This hurricane is getting strong and it's getting big. It has great outflow, no wind shear, and very warm water with which to work with, all key ingredients for intensification. It should reach category 4 status late Wednesday, and is expected to make landfall as a category 4. Some models are indicating that it could get even stronger and reach category 5 status at some point.

Wherever it ends up going, it's going to be a very powerful hurricane when it makes landfall, and the effects from it will be felt for at least 150 miles or more from the center.

The part in yellow is exactly what happened. I pointed that out 4 days before Rita made that turn and hit near the mouth of the Sabine River at the Texas/Louisiana border, while all the "experts" had Rita focused on Matagorda Bay to Galveston. And as Rita strengthened, along with being on the heals of Katrina just a month earlier, this caused the nightmare mass evacuation that had every freeway and street in the Greater Houston area at a standstill for at least 2 days.

Now I'm certainly no expert, I have no meteorological training or any of that jazz. I've just lived in hurricane country my entire life and following and tracking these storms is a hobby I've had since I was a teenager (Just a few short years ago). From years of just studying these things on my own, watching what happens under certain conditions, I feel I have a pretty good idea when it comes to what these storms do. So when a storm forms, I really don't need weather guy on TV giving me the 4-1-1. Now everybody is not me so probably 99% or more of the population has to rely on weather guy, which would be fine if not for a phenomenon that seems to be standard procedure with the media these days, and that's fear mongering.

As the 1st month of the 2010 hurricane season comes to a close, the first named system of the season pops up in the southern Gulf of Mexico (Alex), and the media is already cranking up the fear machine to full blast. I'm going to call out the guy on ABC 13 here in Houston because that's the station I watch, but I can guarantee it happens everywhere. This guy shows all his graphics about the storm, where it's supposed to go and all that neat stuff. The consensus from many of the models has Alex striking Mexico well south of Brownsville. OK, whew, looks like we'll miss this one. Oh, but wait! Before weather guy finishes up he has to show that ONE model, just ONE out of many, that has Alex heading for Galveston.

Now I get that any storm in the Gulf of Mexico is a concern for all along the Gulf coast, but come on! Did the guy doing New Orleans weather do the same, because there was a model that had Alex going to New Orleans too? I also get that these models are nowhere near the end all, be all when it comes to predicting where these storms go. I mean, none of the models had Rita taking the turn north until it started turning, even though 4 days before, the part I have in yellow above was common meteorological knowledge. So to see a vast majority of models taking this storm into Mexico doesn't mean that's where it's going, and any storm in the Gulf should be a concern to all along the Gulf coast.

If you live in hurricane country, it's just common sense (and we know how uncommon that's become) to start stocking up on essential supplies every summer. That's just what you're supposed to do. For whatever reason though, a whole lot people don't. So, weather guy puts out the possibility that Alex is headed our way, and I've already heard that grocery stores in Alvin, TX, just south of Houston, have empty shelves where bottled water used to be. Really? Already in a panic for something that as of this writing has a 3% chance of just bringing us tropical storm force winds (39 mph), and a less than 1% chance of hurricane force. With the Rita example above, even though none of the major models had Rita going where it eventually did, the TX/LA border was still on the edge of the famous "cone of probability" and the probabilities for hurricane force winds were much, much greater than <1%. Galveston is not in this "cone" for Alex.

I suppose Lowes and Home Depot are probably jam packed today as well. And I guess in a way that's a good thing. If that gets you off your butt to go get your hurricane supplies for the season, then fine. Get it done. But that should be getting done anyway and shouldn't take a guy on TV "scaring" it into you telling you that a tropical wave just off the African coast could come our way in about 21 days so stay tuned as we follow it 24/7 over every wave on it's 4,000+ mile journey across the freaking Atlantic Ocean right into Galveston Bay because this is where a storm that hit us in 1918 started. Never mind the fact that this is where 90% of all tropical systems begin.

Then again, with where people's heads seem to be these days, maybe that's why the fear mongering. They're just not going to do what they need to do unless they feel the situation is imminent. But there's also the point of overkill too. If you beat it to death every time there's a cloud over water and these storms end up missing by hundreds of miles, then people start to tune out. You start sounding like Charlie Brown's teacher. We don't need to see 30 minute newscasts where 20 minutes of it is dedicated to a storm that is little to no threat to us, filled with destruction footage of every hurricane we've ever had, with interviews with emergency management officials from every county in Texas.

Again, I get the need to keep people informed. How about just doing that? Hurricanes are a HUGE concern for all who live in their paths so having all the information you can get is critical. What we don't need is bad info or misinformation. Newscasts in New Orleans need to let people know there's a storm in the Gulf, but they do NOT need to go ape crazy over it, focus on one renegade model that has it coming straight for them and whip out all the Katrina footage and get everybody rushing to empty store shelves of everything they have. That's idiotic and just not necessary.

So let Alex be the thing that gets you out to stock up on water, batteries, maybe a few canned goods, wood or what have you because here in hurricane country you're supposed to do that at the start of hurricane season (June) anyway. That goes for anyone from the southernmost islands of the Lesser Antilles to all the countries of the Caribbean to Mexico and the Gulf coast states to the entire eastern seaboard of the U.S. to Newfoundland, Canada. Then if we do get a storm, you don't have to go all panic mode trying to fight the crowds to get everything all at once only to find out you're too late. Shelves are empty.

And media, just report the facts. Quit trying to scare the population and beat us down with non-stop hurricane coverage for storms that are little to no threat to us because you're trying to outdo the other station for ratings. There's a storm in the Gulf. Here's where the warning areas are. Here's where the major, more reliable, models have it going, and let's leave it at that. I don't need to see footage of the Great Galveston storm of 1900..........

...........AGAIN!

MICKEY D'S NOT-SO-HAPPY MEAL

Oh boy! Here we go. This story is the poster child for why this blog exists. I briefly caught this story on the news last night (Tues.) and it immediately made me shake my head and say "WTF?". It seems the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) is planning to sue McDonald's because they have toys in their Happy Meals. OMG!!! Those tricky bastards and their little toys!!! I knew it!! Anyway, this CSPI group claims that McDonald's entices children to buy Happy Meals by offering toys in them. This group's litigation director, a Stephen Gardner, is quoted in a press release saying, “McDonald’s is the stranger in the playground handing out candy to children. It’s a creepy and predatory practice that warrants an injunction.” On the news last night, one of the things I heard somebody speaking for this group (could have been the same guy) saying is, "McDonald's only cares about making money."

This advocacy group (CSPI) claims that McDonald's practices unfair and deceptive marketing by offering toys in Happy Meals, and that McDonald’s use of toys to lure children creates bad eating habits, putting them at risk for developing obesity and diabetes and sending them down a path of diet-related illnesses for the rest of their lives.

Man...where do I start? First of all, you'll probably never find me at a McDonald's...unless I'm renting a Redbox movie. I have never liked any of their burgers other than the Filet-o-Fish, and even that is hard to swallow. I guess their chicken nuggets are OK. So if this group wants to bad-mouth their food saying it contributes to obesity, diabetes, gives you leprosy, makes alien babies burst out of your stomach, hey, maybe they don't like the food either. I get that. Also, you can make similar claims to just about any fast food joint on the planet, or any restaurant for that matter. McDonald's is also not the only place that offers toys in their meals for children. Just off the top of my head, Burger King and Jack-in-the-Box do too. Not to mention places that have the colors and coloring sheet for the kiddos, kids eat free and all that jazz.

Now let's get to the good stuff.

“McDonald’s is the stranger in the playground handing out candy to children.
It’s a creepy and predatory practice that warrants an injunction.”

Wow! Talk about creepy. I need to call a proctologist just to see how far up one's butt one can get one's head. Where do you come up with toilet thinking like this? How long has McDonald's been putting these toys in their Happy Meals? And you people are just now having a problem with it? And how are they not going after Toys R Us? My God man, they have a whole freaking store full of toys to entice children!!! Are you serious? Did the Hamburglar steal your kid's toy out of his/her Happy Meal? This smells of some no-name bunch of spineless wonders trying to get free publicity. That's usually how this crap works these days.

"McDonald's only cares about making money."

Really? Last time I checked, if you have a business it's probably wise to make money in it. What's the point of having a business that doesn't keep you in business? Unless you're a bank or car maker that is. If that's the case, our wonderful president will write you a big fat check and use my money to cover it. But that's for another blog.

Like I said, I don't like McDonald's but I hope they go after and destroy this crap advocacy group and wipe these twisted maggot feeders from the face of the planet to keep them from wasting our time with garbage like this. What's next, are you going to sue for the coffee being too hot? Oh, right, been there done that.

Hey Center for Science in the Public Interest, whatever the hell that means, if you don't like McDonald's, don't go, like me. And it's obvious they haven't been or they'd know there's no way any kid will be sent "down a path of diet-related illnesses for the rest of their lives" because everybody knows that parent buys the Happy Meal, kid takes 2 bites of it, plays with crappy toy 'til parent takes it away and demands that they finish their Happy Meal, kid takes another bite, and off to the freaking playground they go. 70% of the food from the Happy Meal ends up in the trash (which is where CSPI and their lawsuit need to go) and the toy ends up lost under the seats of the car for the next 6 months.

McDonald's is a business. They advertise their business just like any successful business does. Parents have kids. If a parent is taking their kids to McDonald's 3 or 4 times a week, how is that McDonald's fault? A fast food joint is like a stranger at a playground handing out candy? WHAT? How can a group of people, especially a group with a fancy, schmancy name like The Center for Science in the Public Interest, how can they not see what idiots they're being, how completely stupid they look? How do they think anyone is going to take them seriously? What a freaking joke! Common sense is just about dead.

Hey CSPI, your proctologist has your results. Guess what he found?

CELLPHONES - THE BANE OF HUMANITY

What better way to get my little blog started than to talk about a little device that seems to have taken over the world - THE CELLPHONE, or as I like to call it, a wireless pocket phone. Remember in Star Trek when Captain Kirk would flip open a communicator and tell Scotty to "beam me up"? Star Trek, originally made in the 1960's, was a somewhat realistic look into our far, far future. In fact, it wasn't long after that that we already had a similar communication device...the cellphone. Now we don't have the technology where we dematerialize and then reappear somewhere else, but I'm not so sure the beaming technology doesn't exist, specifically when it comes to cellphones seeming to beam people's minds to another galaxy.

Pick a freeway, any freeway. If you happened to pick one that isn't a bumper to bumper parking lot and it's moving along at posted speeds, well, consider yourself lucky. Living in a major city, it isn't easy to find one of those. If you do find yourself moving along at 65 mph or better, it's almost a guarantee that you're going to come up on someone that is driving much slower than the flow of traffic. And it doesn't matter what lane you're in. You're now tailgating this car trying to wait for an opening to switch lanes with everyone on either side now flying by both of you. When you're finally able to get over and pass the car, you look in as you're passing and you notice something that a scientific study confirms now happens with a 114% certainty (you'll just have to trust me on this one), and it's that this slow moving douche is yapping away on a cellphone. Really?

Yes, it is an all too common occurrence what I just described above. We've all heard about people driving with their knees because their hands are occupied either eating with one hand with a hot cup of coffee in the other, reading a book or newspaper, digging around on the floor for the CD case, and of course the crazy rumor that some women put their makeup on, all while driving! Actually, those are all things that you can understand why one might drive a little slower than those around them. All are still insane things to do behind the wheel of a moving vehicle, but at least you can see why the person doing these things might be driving a little erratically at best. Enter the cellphone. Not only one more thing to take your mind of the road but it seems that holding a cellphone to one's ear has a direct affect on the muscles in the leg making them unable to push the foot forward, like one would do when stepping on the gas pedal. There are those that thought it might be because of how the arm is bent when holding the phone to one's ear, but the same leg muscle malfunction happens with earpieces such as Bluetooth, as well.

Remember when cellphones were used for talking? Not any more. Now the "wireless pocket phone" is a wireless pocket computer. First came texting, where instead of speaking words, you know, talking to someone, you instead type them a short little message. As for myself, I am not much of a texter. Of course I just have a simple phone where you still have to push 7 four times to get an S. I mean, I'm not going to sit there and peck at the number pad 35 times to ask someone "R U going 2 the game". I'll just call and ask. But no matter how I feel about it, texting is big. Texting is done with a cellphone, cellphones go with you anywhere, including your car, so you guessed it, now people are texting while they drive!!!

And that's not the end of it. With these little devices having the ability to go on the internet, it really is like a mini computer. You can even watch TV and movies on these things, take pictures and videos, you might even be able to shave with them for all I know. All from the comfort of your driver's seat in the middle lane of I-10 west at 65 mph....scratch that, make it 45 mph when you should be going 65. Moron!! Behind the wheel of your moving car has literally become a desk or office on wheels. Too bad the damn cellphone can't drive for some of these idiots.

Literally every morning you can listen to traffic reports and there are always 5, 6 or more accidents reported. And the same thing in the afternoon rush hour. I do a lot of driving here in the 4th largest city in America, Houston, Texas, and I am baffled that the accident numbers are that low. I've seen the driving with the knee while both hands are on the phone texting. Many times. I've seen a car zip across 3 lanes so they can exit, without even looking. You catch up to that dufus at the stop light and sure enough, cellphone to face. People have lost their freaking minds with the cellphones. They literally can't even walk and work these things at the same time. I honestly saw someone walk into a store window she thought was a door because she had her head down into that phone texting away. You can't even walk with the damn thing and now you're going to get behind the wheel of a car? Oh and let's not forgot those that as soon as they pull up to a stop light, can't wait to get on the phone and text or surf the net or what have you. Which I guess is better than driving on a highway doing it, but now you're sitting through green lights because you can't get your freaking head out of the phone. And you wonder why there's road rage.

I get the advancing technology and the things the cellphone can do are amazing, but behind the wheel of a car is not the place to do it. PEOPLE DIE BECAUSE OF THIS!!! There's already laws being made to ban cellphone use in a vehicle. You can't use them in school zones here in the Houston area. There's places banning or wanting to ban them completely. And though I'm one who is always for less of government telling me what I can or can't do, I can see why. A whole lot of laws that just shouldn't be on the books have to be made because of idiots like these car driving cellphone users. I like to think not so much to protect them, but to protect us working grey matter between the ears people, from them. Unfortunate but stupid people will screw up a good thing every. single. time.

So if you're reading this blog while you're driving a vehicle, GET OFF THE DAMN ROAD YOU MORON!!!! Pull over somewhere out of harm's way and wait for a phone call. I believe it will be your proctologist with the results of where your head is.

YOUR PROCTOLOGIST CALLED, HE FOUND YOUR HEAD

OK, I'm going to try this blog thing again. I did one about 5 years ago that was weather related, tropical weather to be exact, and it was OK, I guess. I mean, I did a lot of writing about hurricanes (it was during the record smashing 2005 hurricane season), but I doubt there was anyone out there reading. Just a hurricane nut doing it for my own pleasure. Of course, I didn't know much about blogs then, what the purpose was, how to get anybody to read it or any of that stuff. I think it's safe to say I still don't know much about it, especially with all the avenues to communicate electronically that there are now, Facebook and Twitter, to name a couple.

"Your Proctologist Called, He Found Your Head" will be a blog mostly about me observing people doing the stupid, moronic, idiotic things they do. Things that really "grind my gears." (Hey, Grind My Gears would have been a good name for my blog but I don't want to infringe on Family Guy.) Society has lost it's grasp on common sense. So much so that common sense isn't so common any more. People do stupid things, and I guess they always have, but it seems like they have a whole lot more arrogance to go along with their stupidity these days. In this age of multi-tasking, people just can't do it, but they think they can! Reality is that more and more people seem unable to walk and chew gum at the same time much less try to talk on a cellphone and drive at the same time. And then when they do do something idiotic, they think it's the norm and look at you like you're the crazy one. It's like people are walking around with their head's up their butts, hence why a proctologist is the one finding one's head and why this blog will carry that name.

This blog will be about me trying to shine my little spotlight on things that just don't make a whole lot of sense. We all do dumb things from time to time, but people with sense realize they do something dumb, feel embarrassed or what have you. I'll be talking about people who can't see how moronic they are, who don't realize what idiot jerkfaces they are. Things that people do, or can't do, that just make you shake your head and say, "what the hell are you thinking?"

Of course it isn't always going to be about idiots. I might throw something in here about sports from time to time, like the Astros, who are pretty painful to watch right now so they could definitely qualify for this blog. Or just something I don't particularly care for like, American Idol. I'll try not to make it a blog about me just complaining about everything or acting like I'm judging people. Not trying to go there with it. People are funny too, even when they aren't trying to be, and I'm always down for a good laugh. But stupid people, and you know who you are.........ok, maybe you don't know who you are.....just beware. I'm coming after you. The 4th car through the red light runners, the texting while driving people, as well as politicians at all levels, big pharmaceutical, you are all fair game in this blog. If I ever find a way to get people to want to read some of this stuff, there will likely be people offended from time to time. It's OK though because your stupidity is offensive to me so that makes us even.

So that's the plan. Knowing me, there's no telling what it actually turns into, if anything. It certainly isn't going to be a daily thing, especially once football season starts. Just gonna give it a whirl and see if I've actually got anything worthwhile to say, complain about, or whatever else I can dream up, and if there's anyone out there who may find it decent reading material.