Friday, December 9, 2011

CUSTOMER NEEDS ASSISTANCE IN THE METH DEPARTMENT

The Christmas shopping frenzy is upon us and in full swing. We've survived another Black Friday, Small Business Saturday and Cyber Monday in search of those super bargains, and as the big day approaches the 2 week mark, the mall parking lots are near capacity as the procrastinators get around to finally getting in the mix while everyone else is getting some last minute shopping done.

And I think it's safe to say that if the parking lot at Sears is at 50%, then you can almost bet the barn that a store like Wal-Mart is at about 140% capacity. Of course Wal-Mart doesn't really need the Christmas season to pack the place, it can be like that in May or June as well, seeing how Wal-Mart is the place you can get it all at "rollback" prices.

Rolling back prices on HDTV's, video games, DVD's, digital cameras, auto parts, cleaning supplies, clothes, medicine, shampoo, jewelry, toys, sporting goods, housewares, kitchenwares, gardening, grilling and in the case of a Tulsa, Oklahoma Wal-Mart...even crystal meth.

Woman makes meth inside Wal-Mart

A 45 year old woman in Tulsa, Elizabeth Alisha Greta Halfmoon ('cause 3 names isn't enough), was arrested for mixing chemicals to make meth.....INSIDE THE FREAKING STORE!!!!! Apparently (and I'm just going on my own assumption here), she ran out of meth money from buying a bunch of crack, and was too broke to buy the chemicals to make the meth. So, in a methheads infinite wisdom, she decides to mix up the magic potion in just one bottle, in the store, and just buy that one bottle. You know, instead of having to buy all the separate bottles of stuff, which can get pretty costly even at Wally World.

For 6 hours she was in the store, flipping through the $5 movie bin, waiting for her meth to be done. I guess. When security cameras caught the woman acting suspicious, they called the cops in and they busted her. Or it might have been when somebody noticed and reported all the smoke coming from her shopping cart. Or it might have been when she was setting up a meth display between the Lays Potato Chips (on sale 2 for $5) and the Dr. Pepper display ($4.99 a case). Not sure on the details.

Six hours in a store, a busy store, whipping up a batch of meth. Wow!! I guess the guy growing his own marijuana back in Lawn & Gardening was glad she was taking all of the attention away from him. Paranoid, but glad.